We came back with basically nothing to build from financially and moved into my parents' basement in Alabama. What was meant to be just a month or two ended up turning into a year. Though my family is amazing and we had no issues living with them, it was very humbling for us not be independent for so long. Looking back, I can see how we really needed that time to adjust back from our time overseas and just be surrounded by family and little responsibility. We needed rest- for our minds and hearts. I had a tough time coming to grips with life back here. I just felt lost and purposeless with no direction and no ambition. I mean, my whole life I've always had goals to work toward and felt that drive to do something big in my life. The biggest thing being going to Jerusalem. Those 2 years changed so much in me that I can't even begin to explain. Some things for the better, but a lot of things have just left me feeling confused about the whole 2 years. And of course the best thing that happened is that God brought Eric & I together. :) That changed everything in the best way. No longer am I alone in my life journey, but God gave me an amazing man to share love and life with, to hope and dream with, to laugh and cry with. But, coming back to the US left me with the question, "What next?"
And that brings us to the past few months. We heard about an organization called Apartment Life and after looking into it, we felt God was leading us to apply. So after getting through the application process back in the fall, we made the move to Atlanta, GA in March to become a CARES team with Apartment Life. We LOVE it! We plan the events, welcome new residents, and assist the apartment staff with various tasks as needed. Our goal is to provide a resource for residents to meet and socialize with their neighbors with the intention of building a sense of closeness and community within the neighborhood. Pancake breakfast, Bingo night, kids' field day, neighborhood watch meetings.... these are just a few of the fun things we've gotten to plan and be a part of with our community. In addition to Apartment life, we are both working jobs here and are excited about what the future holds.
God has given me a renewed hope. Life isn't perfect and it's not always fun, but that's okay. Hard times pass and joy comes in the morning. I'm so thankful for that promise from God. He has given me peace so many times throughout my life in the difficult times. And He has been faithful to fill me with joy again and again. I want to hold onto that knowledge. It's so easy to forget that He's here with me when a new trial arises and I'm swimming in the emotion of the moment. But He's always with me. Of course, He's so kind as to not snap me into His reality to remind me "Stop worrying! Remember that I'm here!" He lets me have my meltdown and "spiral down"- as I call it- into hopelessness. And that's when I get to the end of myself. My mind has explored every option or possible outcome and I have no choice but to trust Him in my vulnerability. One day I will learn not to torture myself that way, but in the meantime, that seems to be the pattern. Just merely reflecting on God's presence in my life leaves me in such awe of Him. I'm so unworthy of His patience and kindness toward me, yet He doesn't mind. He just keeps loving me anyway, giving me hope and a future.
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