1 Year Ago

I can't help but feel sad today. This time last year, I had just taken a home pregnancy test and found out that we were expecting our 2nd child. March 23rd was a day of excitement and hope and joy. But the joy didn't last long. Just 3 weeks and 5 days later I would miscarry our child at home and see his little, lifeless, barely formed, bean-shaped body there in my hands. It was horrifying and devastating. My little Emmanuel would never experience life beyond his short time in my womb. So, I'm not quite sure how to deal with today and the coming weeks as I think back on Emmanuel's death. This time last year I was only 6 weeks pregnant and this year I'm about 6 weeks away from birthing a new life, a little boy who I am so thankful to have carried so far with no complications. It's surreal to think that this little one wouldn't have existed had Emmanuel survived. I don't know what to do with that. I just know that I wouldn't have made it through the loss of Emmanuel without God holding me and strengthening me. So for that reason, I'll keep holding onto God to sustain me continually. I've heard the song below quite a few times, but I've somehow missed the first verse until Friday night at my church. It was as if God was bringing the words to my attention to remind me that He is with me.

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Sovereign Over Us By Michael W. Smith

• There is strength within the sorrow

  There is beauty in our tears

  And You meet us in our mourning

  With a love that casts out fear

  You are working in our waiting

  You're sanctifying us

  When beyond our understanding

  You're teaching us to trust
• Your plans are still to prosper

  You have not forgotten us

  You're with us in the fire and the flood

  You're faithful forever

  Perfect in love

  You are sovereign over us
• You are wisdom unimagined

  Who could understand Your ways

  Reigning high above the Heavens

  Reaching down in endless grace

  You're the lifter of the lowly

  Compassionate and kind

  You surround and You uphold me

  And Your promises are my delight
• Your plans are still to prosper

  You have not forgotten us

  You're with us in the fire and the flood

  You're faithful forever

  Perfect in love

  You are sovereign over us
• Even what the enemy means for evil

  You turn it for our good

  You turn it for our good and for Your glory

  Even in the valley, You are faithful

  You're working for our good

  You're working for our good and for Your glory
• Your plans are still to prosper

  You have not forgotten us

  You're with us in the fire and the flood

  You're faithful forever

  Perfect in love

  You are sovereign over us
• You're faithful forever

  Perfect in love

  You are sovereign over us

Songwriters: AARON KEYES, BRYAN BROWN, JACK MOORING